Trust and the Hawk

How do I even begin to tell of the trust? The trust that was conditional as long as all went well. I could believe You for the past two years and the future...but the past? That is where I want to cross my arms, shake my head and say no. Then this song shows up in my life on a day where I can listen to it over and over again and not be distracted?! It even says specifically trust with out borders....I want to kick and scream and say NOOOOOO. But the beckoning of the promise that YOU are there...in the vulnerability. So God, here I am. The deep waters are roaring. The mission life calling. And the past looming. I give YOU my hand...lead me to that place what ever it looks like. I will hold on to YOU. I choose too. And if the grip should falter because of my doubt I know that You hold me closer still. And God thank you for the hawk...